alone time. so nice.

i did something for myself:

i went out of my comfort zone and went to a braves game...... alone.

on a whim.
five seats to the left of me were empty. three seats to the right.

and guess what?

i had a blast. 

lets start bouncing back.

i asked for a book called the bounce back book for mother's day (??) or some holiday. either way, i looked at the glossy pages, the graphics and fonts, and put it down. aesthetically appealing but i wasn't interested in the words.

fast forward to today. i was surfing the net and saw the little red book placed in front of me. admittedly, i haven't had a crisis or misfortune of significance happen in quite some time but i decided to read it. an hour later, i had read it cover to cover. here is what i have taken away from the book (and the reason i've decided to blog again):

i am a pessimist to the enth degree. i am not someone you should come to if you are in the middle of a crisis. i do enjoy listening, however i enable depression. i usually have nothing positive to say and i have no idea how to build someone up. this leads me to..

i am unhappy with myself. with motherhood (and this is not luke's fault at all!), i have become a homebody. i have no hobbies. i'm just a boring individual. i eat but don't exercise so this is a vicious cycle. i eat, i gain weight, i sleep, i eat, weight, sleep. what am i doing? i'm 26!

i really would like to be an optimist. i would! i am a cynic but i will try changing this. maybe i could even meet someone and treat them well if i changed my tune.

i am a "woe is me" person. things that have happened in the past are still talked about. i have always thought i have risen above it but really, by talking about it all of the time i am still feeling sorry for myself.



and this is the point of this blog.

it is about me. it is about my struggles to find happiness, the troubles with being a single mom, and of course-- a few splashes of that amazing son i have, Luke!!


(sparse caps here. i'm an ee cummings fan.)



momma r.